Is it OK to talk about our children?

I have noticed something absolutely amazing about children…when you call them or when you are giving instructions or directions, they consciously or not, tune you out when they feel like it but somehow, they can sense when you ARE about to talk about them, and suddenly they take an extra 5 minutes to walk up the stairs, need water or something else that forces them to stick around a little longer, or team up with a younger sibling to eavesdrop. I cannot count how many conversations end with “don’t tell this to “x” person” or “this is a secret”, “pinky promise you wouldn’t tell anyone”, etc

…BUT….

those cute and funny moments are not what this is about ; this is about letting out the not so pretty aspects of a child’s behavior.. is it ok?

The truth is, some days are hard and when we have the opportunity to unleash everything that is on our chest to an ear that is willing and ready to listen, we let it out. Sometimes, the instantaneous feeling of relief we feel is met with feelings of remorse after.

Here are 3 tips that are helpful in understanding what’s “ok” and what’s not.

Respecting Family Boundaries – Often, we don’t take the other parent into consideration, is this something you have had the opportunity to discuss? Is that person comfortable with you discussing your children to others? If your child is old enough to comprehend, are they comfortable with it? or would it just be better to maintain privacy? These are definitely things that need to be discussed and taken into account.

Respecting the Boundaries of your Children – As adults, we crave our privacy, but that craving is often not transferred to our children. Do they want you sharing their issues with a grandparent, let along Facebook and the rest of the world? Would that help the situation or humiliate the child? Speak to them and aim to protect their privacy first, ensure that their dignity is never at stake.

Using Kind Speech – You might not realize, but being open about issues you face, causes people to judge not only your child but your parenting as well, which can put you on the defensive. Will people understand that you are merely seeking to help your child or will you automatically be deemed an angry mom? Remember that speaking about your children should ONLY be to gain results and ultimately help them instead of hurting their characters and complaining about them. This applies whether they are within an earshot of the conversation or not.

Oh! Before I forget, pray about it…pray that God grants you the patience to parent; remember that with difficulty comes ease; and always, always strive to be humble- even before your own children.

 

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9 Comments Add yours

  1. That was a good read! I think about that to. Oftentimes we want to vent out or frustrations and concerns but we have a be watchful and careful in reference to our children and for their protection. That goes for every child and especially those with special conditions and considerations. I am so grateful for each of my babies, and despite their little witty and mischievous ways at times l am blessed to have them. I have learned the lesson that you can’t tell everyone everything because they will take it or use it the wrong way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! If you must vent, ensure it’s with trusted individuals who are there to help you on your journey. xo

      Like

  2. An interesting article. I think it is important to speak openly about behaviour and feelings but we have to do it in a positive manner. Thank you for linking up to # #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it cannot be done in a humiliating manner.

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  3. Tubbs says:

    This is so true. It’s easy to forget that children have as much right to privacy as grownups and don’t want everyone knowing their business. It’s important to have people you can be honest with who won’t judge or repeat things around you. Great post 🙂 Glad I found you on a #blogginggoodtime

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, we have to ensure that the individual we choose to discuss or children with wouldn’t view them or us with negative lens if we speak to them in confidence. I’m glad you came over!! 🙃

      Like

  4. Aleena Brown says:

    I think it is very important to be open and honest with each other, especially amongst parents, and I don’t think any of us would deliberately set out to humiliate or embarrass our children. #ABloggingGoodTime

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is a really interesting post. i never put anything on my blog or social media that wouldn’t embarrass my children but I do sometimes slip up when it comes to talking to other members of the family and have to keep stopping myself. I used to hate being talked about when I was a kid. X
    #Ablogginggoodtime

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Alana, I’m glad u came over! I used to hate that as a child too! 😐

      Liked by 1 person

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